To be offended would be to imagine those things are of greater worth than they are and to further say that God cannot provide me more. Almost offensive to me. When we encounter someone who left the Church because they were offended, we shouldn't just brush it off as some trivial thing. Quotes By Genres. This friend — let’s call her Rachel — said something, probably without thinking, that was hurtful to one of our mutual friends. Whether a rape victim or simply the business end of an offensive person, it is not the person making offense that is to blame but the person being offended or injured. 1. It takes too much energy to be offended by all of them. He never showed up, and she never saw him again. When we offend, we can say “I’m sorry” and try to do better. many , many people have been gay and are no longer gay. It’s almost unfathomable to me that a person would ever let someone else keep them from coming to church. I get upset about a lot of things, but only because I choose to be upset. Don’t use “Being offended is a choice!” as a cop-out. Mormon meetings never involve passing a donation plate around. Whether we have caused that pain or been the recipient of the pain, those wounds need to be healed so that life can be as rewarding as God intended it to be. It’s an excuse made by people to cover up for their failures and shortcomings. As Prospero said to the regretful Alonso in The Tempest, “Let us not burden our remembrance with a heaviness that’s gone.”. There are choices in life. And in our day: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” It is, however, important for some of you living in real anguish to note what He did not say. In 2nd Nephi it says men are free "to act for themselves and not to be acted upon," meaning we are responsible for how we act, feel, and think, and nobody else is to blame. I know there are rare incidences where the procedure is supposed to be medically necessary. It is almost as if we are being told we have to choose a side. Allow me to discuss a recent example in my stake. … Latter-day Saints follow the teachings of the prophets. Bed at. I'd say that trying to find place for righteous anger is only going to come when we remember who we are and what our relation is to the individual(s) who are 'offensive'. We may possess a righteous indignation for the work of Satan and the influence of evil among men, but when we forget the wicked among the children of Adam are our loved ones and neighbors, we puff up our pride. Don’t wave away people’s hurt feelings or frustrations with, “Oh, you’re too easily offended!” or “You’re being too sensitive!”. - David A. Bednar ... We are the ones we've been waiting for. . For example, the smell of bleach offends my nostrils. As I ponder back over my forty-odd years on this planet, I can’t really remember going lengths of time without feeling offended. If someone does something offensive, we certainly choose what to do with the hurt we feel. We are all indebted to Christ. LOL Snow I knew every life had a purpose:). “She can be a big girl and realize that not everything is about her.”, “Rachel,” I said, shocked, “I think most people would agree that even if you didn’t mean it to be, that was a kind of hurtful thing to say. I’ve known a few people who can manipulate the most innocuous statement to insinuate offense. He can give me more and I need not worry that others attack and steal or damage what I have already received. Was that the same speech where he said, "Pickles are now as cucumbers may become" or something like that? Being offended is a choice. We can go and try to offend someone, but it only works if they TAKE the offence. Timing, tone, and choice of words all play a role in serving others with tact—or conversely, a lack of tact. (See Hymns, no. Since The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints uses an almost complete lay … She specializes in video content. In Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s October 2018 talk “The Ministry of Reconciliation” (the talk that I will forever remember as the introduction of his swanky new glasses), he remarked: “Surely each of us could cite an endless array of old scars and sorrows and painful memories that this very moment still corrode the peace in someone’s heart or family or neighborhood. SINCE 1828. OK, OK. Of course, there are things we should not just ignore — injustice, bigotry and cruelty, to name a few. By someone’s words, or actions. “Some people looove to feel offended because it makes them feel important. 9:4-5). We are the change that we seek. ---------------------------------------------------. Explore. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. ; If I do not choose to be offended, they are not in my debt?). "To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else." I have a pretty large lawn, so as I mow it, I have plenty of time to ponder things. To Those Offended at Mormon’s Words. “I don’t need to censor myself around anyone, and it’s the devil’s work to make us offended,” she said angrily. "Be ye angry and sin not..." is from Ephesians 4:26, Here's the JST link: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/jst/110, Without anger, there is the danger of another great quote becoming a sad reality, "All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.". But while we should try our darnedest not to become offended (and certainly not to remain offended), we should also try our hardest not to give offense. Those who hurt others will indeed have to answer for it. We are children of the LORD and our knowledge of him through obedience is not because we are valued more by Him or because our righteousness has earned us a privileged position. Jun 16, 2019 - “To be offended is a choice we make...” -David A. Remember that just because you’ve offended someone doesn’t mean you are a bad person, and just because someone else’s feelings were hurt doesn’t mean they are overly sensitive and need to buck up. susieSA, October 10, 2007 in LDS Gospel Discussion, ---------------------------------------------------, "Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited, things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us, to take offense. Allowing another person to hurt your feelings or allowing someone to offend you is nothing short of self-imposed mental cruelty. When I think about the act of taking offense, it seems a choice is made to filter another person’s remarks through our … For example…somebody says something that hurts my feelings. The views expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. Likewise, people can say or do things that inherently offend us. PSA, y’all: Being offended is a choice — but, contrary to what some people seem to believe, that doesn’t mean we can say whatever mean thing we want, then accuse other people of being too sensitive. 233.) They believe that in order for them to be "square" there needs to be restitution of some kind. Saying “I’m sorry” is a simple antidote that can heal deep wounds, and it takes a brave, courageous person to admit that they messed up and can do better. Amy Carpenter is the site manager and editor for LDSBlogs.com. As a stake president I have seen many people drift into inactivity due to being offended when clearly no offense was intended. This website is not owned by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon or LDS Church). This caused me to ponder about feeling offended, was I able to control this perception? However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to. In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). Join our weekly mailing list to receive the latest in LDS News. Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. They’re oblivious in their actions … That path is the forgiving one walked by Jesus of Nazareth, who calls out to each of us, “Come, follow me” (emphasis added). It’s giving away your power. Since I am, in fact, LDS, I didn’t think about how culturally/religiously insensitive I was being to imply that someone might have trouble adjusting to life in a Mormon enclave if they aren’t LDS. The answer is yes. Pro-choice slogans have been particularly seductive to Latter-day Saints because we know that moral agency, which can be described as the power of choice, is a fundamental necessity in the gospel plan. 100 Bible Verses about Being Offended. Remember the "I have an abortion" t-shirt campaign? This kind of behavior is never appropriate. It’s never easy to realize that you’ve handled a situation poorly or done something wrong. The thing is, it also takes energy to be offended by any of them. - David A. Bednar PC, I'm not sure anyone has said we shouldn't be outraged by anything. Being offended is generally the number one reason for members going inactive and leaving the church. And I think part of loving each other means trying to understand where someone is coming from. Good speech. 'Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.' "Be angry--and sin not!". I'll let them have it and just get more from the LORD. Don’t Use “Being Offended Is a Choice!” as a Cop-Out, BYU Speech Zeroes in On Those Who Feel Marginalized, Internet “Anonymity”: I Can’t See Your Face, But I CAN Read Your Comments, 5 Things Latter-day Saints Believe That Other Christians Do Not, But Make So Much Sense, Kimberly Jo Smith’s Journey Discovering Joseph, Emma and Herself, Never-Before-Seen Letter on Doubt By Hugh B. Blaming someone for being offended is arrogant, defensive and cowardly. It is enough that the people know there was an election. At the same time, consider this: Maybe you are “too sensitive.” Maybe you do overreact sometimes. Anger is a sin that is often overlooked in the grand scheme of “bad things”. tags: inspiration, latter-day-saints, lds, maxwell, mormon , neal, righteousness ... “Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Lds Church.. Jesus Christ Quotes “To be offended is a choice we make...” -David A. Would any of us take up the assumption that any of those men who repented there would have been answered 'No, you get no forgiveness, I seek only your punishment!'? To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. Adults should be able to think for themselves and peacefully discuss their priorities. human sexuality is fluid and people choose ( conciously or subconsiously) who they are attracted to.. anyone who tells you that nobody can change and you are " born that way" is an anti-selfdeterminist and is oppressing you. Thanks, hawkgrrl. Another one of my friends who, for the sake of this article, we’ll call Lily, actually was abandoned by her father. So many things happen to us in life. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for someone to be offended by something like that.”. In other words, if we want to hold another in our debt. Leaving the 99 to rescue the one is Christ-like service. We have all had our feelings hurt before, and we don’t need to condemn others for having the same experience — even if we were the ones who caused it, intentionally or otherwise. The LORD said: 'I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.' There are people out there that have no clue, and are rude. Yet somehow it has become a type of received wisdom among many Latter-day Saints. Sometimes new converts to the faith, especially when coming from a Catholic background, are offended at some of the words contained within Moroni 8. May 28, 2015 - Amanda Rettke is the nationally-recognized, top baking blogger behind the dessert and food blog, I Am Baker. The LORD showed his wrath to the merchants at the Temple who made of it a mockery and a business. They feel that since they were baptized as infants that they are somehow under condemnation or that their parents are deemed negatively in some sense. On this subject our prophetic guidance is clear. Real fam, do you think you can choose whether or not to be offended by something? Offended: to commit an offense. This is wrong. Being influenced by anti-Mormon literature and propagandizers of erroneous information is probably the next superficial reason for leaving. I would add that being offended is not only a choice but being offended offers without resistance contorl of how you behave to someone that really does not care at all about you or those that love you. "In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to … Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. Sign up for a new account in our community. It is the opposite of love. She later apologized and felt bad for becoming so upset. Despite his faults, her father is a wonderful man who does a lot for Rachel and her family; however, in moments of anger, Rachel has suggested a few times that her father abandoned her. But you don’t have to. And when the only time you feel relevant is when you claim to be offended, suddenly everything looks offensive.” ― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert For example: not going to a certain store because once a sales lady who worked in that store said something that offended you. But their debt is not owed to us, as many think. So when Rachel suggested that her father abandoned her, I could tell that Lily felt flabbergasted and a little hurt. Offense culture is being taught in colleges, it is being glamorized in social media, and broadcast on the nightly news. 5. I don't understand how debt is being used here. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a, condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something, Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense, (David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90). Like the food in your refrigerator that your grandchildren carefully check in your behalf, those old grievances have long since exceeded their expiration date. Whether we shun them or argue (our reaction) is a choice. SO...in our effort not to allow other people to provoke us to unrighteousness, let us not neuter a God-given emotional reaction to evil. (D&C 64:10). That is false. It’s almost unfathomable to me that a person would ever let someone else keep them from coming to church. Quotes. Being Offended Is a Choice We Make. See more ideas about offended quotes, quotes, lds quotes. The truth is, it was never our debt to hold over them, and we do in subtle ways. It usually indicates poor understanding of one's own emotions in favor of the strategy of trying to change the behavior of others.But, since we're all autonomous beings, we are only able to change ourselves--this includes how we understand and react to the world around us. 6:19-20). It is difficult to hear when someone says it back to me in the middle of an emotional meltdown of my own. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. Related: (Not) Being Offended by Naive Comment at Church, One day I mentioned offhandedly to Rachel, “You know, I think when you say things like that your father abandoned you, it hurts Lily’s feelings because her father really did abandon them.”. Being offensive is also a choice we make. Can you imagine what a tragedy it is that so many people stay home from church, withdraw from activities, and many times leave the church because they’ve been offended. Being easily offended is a difficult habit to overcome. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. Being offended isn't a mark of virtue - it's a sign that you're a crybaby who will throw a tantrum if you can't get your way. The real measure of our discipleship is how we treat other people — so treat them kindly. It is easy for Christ to heal wounds...or pain. As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Don't go thinking 'I'll save my anger for those who don't repent.' 138 quotes have been tagged as lds: Gordon B. Hinckley: ‘Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Luke 7:23 - And blessed is [he], whosoever shall not be offended in me. It’s becoming a victim of other people’s choices, many times when they don’t even mean to offend you. Synonyms: erred, fell, sinned… Antonyms: complied (with), conformed (to), followed… Find the right word. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. Which when then feels needs to be accepted by others and responded to appropriately. Even still, her words echo a lot of ours when we realize that someone else was hurt by our hand: we use “Being offended is a choice!” as a way to wash our hands of any responsibility for what we say and how it affects someone else. It's a gift. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 ESV / 311 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful. Indeed, believing that another person offended, us is fundamentally false. Opinions are not scripture. If one can develop a humorous approach to life, it seems so much easier. But, on those rare occasions God calls for it, we may miss the opportunity to be his tool in transforming society. But being offended is a choice we each make, and one that can greatly impact our lives. We cannot profess to be devoted followers of Christ in one breath, and then say hateful things in the next. Nov 11, 2019 - Explore Candice Leatherberry's board "Offended quotes", followed by 110 people on Pinterest. Indeed, believing that another person … No. Not for thy righteousness, or for the uprightness of thine heart, dost thou go to possess their land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee, and that he may perform the word which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.' It's easy! In the October 2009 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, often inadvertently called the Mormon Church, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, President Uchtdorf, said – ... or resisting the impulse to become offended.