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This was their unspoken communication. The page loaded. My sister told me to read it, since I really don't cry. On the first night out of the three, Akaashi flat out refused to get any rest in fear of suffering another night terror. Akaashi shared a bench with Kenma. Inhaling deeply, Akaashi lingered in place, then sat down in the empty seat next to Kuroo. The words echoed in Akaashi's head, as if they'd been spoken aloud. Same old, same old. His hands twitched once, and he moved closer, leaning into Bokuto's touch. He waves goodbye to his sister, shuts the door, and then walks to school, taking in a breath of the cool morning air. He found it much too difficult to say no to Bokuto, but it had to be done. "Give me a break here." "I can barely keep my eyes open by day, and can barely keep them closed by night." His quiet chuckle was louder than Bokuto's wholehearted laugh. To this, Bokuto's arm fell and rested lightly on his stomach. As he walked, he stared at the backs of the two men in front of him. I know that you know that, too And yet you still stick by me.". "But I thought you had that nightmare." It had been sent two hours ago. He pushed his negative thoughts aside and sat himself down in bed, right next to Bokuto. ", "I'm" Kenma's lips puckered in thought. He swore without a filter. ", Silently, the dark haired male frowned. Akaashi had nothing else to say. "No you haven't. Press J to jump to the feed. tip: austen words:10000-50000 sort:title. It was cold. Above, the clouds were dense, and they gathered quickly, casting a dark shroud over Akaashi's path. Bokuto nodded frantically and forced himself to comply with Akaashi, as he always did. A trembling, tender laugh escaped Akaashi. He blinked weakly and slid his fingers down the sides of his phone, a sign of weariness that he could not disobey. "Yeah." ", "When I said that it would be a tough mess for them to clean up" Akaashi sounded genuinely confused. He walked home that day with a balled up blanket in his arms, a burgundy scarf around his neck, and nothing more from the hospital. Akaashi felt that his words were a bit bitter, but he had no other way of telling Bokuto the truth. I've heard a lot about you in the short hour that I've been here.". (does that make sense?). He leaned his chin against the palm of his hand and chortled. Akaashi stared on as his mind searched for words. Or maybe not brooding, but more along the lines of apathetic. "Koutarou Why do you watch me like that?" Once it did, Akaashi was greeted with a, "Hello?". "Close your eyes for the time being." Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. Akaashi's grip tightened around his phone. Akaashi took a glance out the window, only to instantly throw on his clothes and toss his bag over his shoulders. He kept himself against Bokuto and held onto him with what little strength he had left in him. He hesitated for a moment, but finally spoke up. That night, he dreamt of the first night Bokuto had come over his home. He continued to stare on as he talked. Bokuto's hands were as cold as ice, causing Akaashi's concern in him to grow even more. He tossed the navy blue one to Bokuto, remembering how fond he was of it the last time he'd come over. It took a moment for Bokuto to focus on him. i mean, i felt sad sure but I didn't really get the last few parts, like was it a dream, was Akaashi having a hallucination, did he die from a broken heart and that was like a vision of some of his best moments with Bokuto, etc. Which makes this review sound negative, BUT!! He leaned back in his chair. When he had, however, instead of shutting his phone off and trying to force a few hours of sleep upon himself, Akaashi stared at the phone screen longingly, and read the last messages that were sent between them. It's why I didn't want to come along. "We're going back to the hospital right now. "I said come." He swallowed thick, and turned his head to stare out the window again. He looked down at Bokuto as he said this, and glanced away soon after. He made his way up the same path, walking swiftly and without pause. His frustration slowly faded, and all that was left behind upon his pale face was a look of defeat. It was Akaashi's way of letting Bokuto know that everything would be alright, and this would always comfort him, no matter the situation they were in. Akaashi stepped to the side. Bokuto doesn't do well with those", "Ah" Kuroo looked at the ceiling, as if he would be able to see the clouds from there. this is seriously the most depressing thing in the world. ", Akaashi turned his head to face Kuroo. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. It lit Bokuto's face up just enough for Akaashi to take in those healthy features that were staring back at him. Once Akaashi had left the hospital, he never looked back. Akaashi frowned. "Look at me, it's going to be fine." "I'm fine. This was so so sad, I cried at the end. "Come on" Akaashi reached a hand out to help Bokuto to his feet. He was glad that Akaashi found company in him. He wouldn't show this, but Kuroo's words had hit him harder than he could ever imagine. It wasn't like Bokuto to question what he said in such a straightforward fashion. Bokuto closed his eyes after that, one hand resting on the side of his head. haikyuulovestory, xread. He figured it was already past five in the afternoon. At some point during their walk home from the gym, Akaashi had agreed for Bokuto to spend the night at his house. His head rested on mine with the weight of someone's who's unconscious.". He turned his head weakly, and his body along with it. He opened his notes application and held the device in front of Bokuto. Where most people would detach themselves, Bokuto took hold and wouldn't let go, being as persistent as he was energetic. His face glowed the quietest shade of red, and he tried to hide it from Akaashi. Akaashi pursed his lips in frustration, but this look quickly vanished as a small laugh fell from his lips. I'll have to watch it again.". His eyes stared forward, uninterested in the information desk several meters from him. They remained speechless in each other's company for several minutes before Bokuto actually spoke up, his voice sounding like nothing more than a mere whisper. Show him a movie or play a game with him that would result in him to calm down quickly. Akaashi almost smiled. ], [I know! He tried to aim for it at the very least, but found it difficult to. "The movie kept me company. ", Bokuto grinned. Akaashi rubbed the back of his neck hastily and closed his eyes. Akaashi frowned deeply. His hands tensed, relaxed, and rested against his neck. Bokuto has round, golden-colored eyes and spiky white-grey hair with black streaks; certain sections of it are done up as if to vaguely conform to that of an animal, strongly amplifying the uncanny resemblance he bears to a horned owl. Kuroo didn't seem surprised in the slightest. "What would you have chosen to say?". His golden eyes searched the room for Akaashi. Did he really think he was admitted to a hospital just because he was having trouble sleeping? Bokuto folded his arms. pathfinder: kingmaker hour of rage challenge armag . "Is there something wrong with him? He turned his head to get a clear look at Bokuto's face, but instantly wished he hadn't. It's a little too late for that, Bokuto." "Well, I'll be going now.". "And nothing you say will make me leave.". "I told you I had my moments every so often.". He instead continued to stare in Akaashi's direction with hopeful eyes. He stared at the ceiling. He was thinner than before, a large flannel shirt fitting him loosely. He had probably lost a bit overtwenty pounds in the two months that passed. Tired, but awake. Bokuto no longer smelled like a hospital. He furrowed his brow and exhaled heavily, his eyes looking down. Thank you, Koutarou, for talking to me me in the hall that day And asking me if I was alright. "Yes." Bokuto stared at Akaashi sharply. He slowly lowered his head and folded his arms. "I'm not leaving, Koutarou." It hurt him to think that Bokuto had barely even experienced the joys of a young adult's life before that crippling disease had taken a hold of him. He entered his home with Bokuto in a matter of minutes, having walked faster than usual. "I miss you guys. He'd scroll up, up, up until the first text, then would scroll all the way down again, waiting for the ellipse to appear on the lower left side of the screen. "Wait, what? Slowly, Akaashi's laugh eased into a chuckle, and as he sat there in his seat, he looked down at Bokuto with placid eyes. He did not give Akaashi time to voice his guess as he then moved his finger to point at his eye, then finally at Akaashi. It was a quiet laugh. Pulling his laptop close, Akaashi smoothed his finger along the mouse pad. what disease did, bokuto have in another lifekanawha county board of education. ", "Well if you've watched it seven times then why not watch it an eighth time? He observed his surroundings once again, having been fascinated by the inside of someone else's home. He sat at home in bed, with a snug fitting shirt on and his hair an absolute mess. Bokuto had always been struggling to keep a positive front, but inside, he was falling apart all along. There was a longing in his eyes that Akaashi couldn't stand to see. I just met him." masked singer uk season 1 reveals . Bokuto stuck his head out of the window slightly and kept it there as the snowflakes fell all around him. He only waved goodbye at a staring Akaashi before following his small friend down the stairs. He remained in the same position and only moved his hand to wipe at his face again. He said lightheartedly, his fingers trembling around his phone. I know that I'm a lost cause. The last thing he wanted to do was wake him up, so they lay in silence for minutes on end. He tried to hide his grin with his hand, but it was still visible from the gaps between his fingers. "Do you still think that you are the best?" In no time, Akaashi is ready and prepared for school. He hung his head and tried to keep his crying controlled in the best way possible, but this proved to be very difficult as sobs broke out of him, causing his entire being to shake. Kuroo rubbed the lower part of his face with his hand. He understood how that would be alarming to some people. "My parents aren't home.". It doesn't make any sense.". [I don't believe you on that 'Yeah' part. "Take a seat. Sorry for always messaging you so late. The sound of rain pelting hard against the window snapped Akaashi back into reality. June 2, 2022 by by [Verse 2 . The soft touch of Akaashi's hair against his chin comforted Bokuto, and pulled him into a relaxed state. Tried so hard to keep himself together, but he knew he was too weak to pull such a bluff. Dissociative disorders are mental disorders that involve experiencing a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity. It would cause less spasms to grip Bokuto's body, allowing him to unwind more than he usually could. "Don't call me that." Once Bokuto noticed this, he turned his head and slowly rolled away. We also all know how Bokuto also gets really depressed (Bokuto's emo mode) in the middle of matches. He'd never heard of that disease before. "What is it? "This is Akaashi. "I mean, in your state now, it's a bit clichd, don't you think?" ", Akaashi looked down. He didn't seem like one to say goodbye or hello for that matter, so both Akaashi and Bokuto didn't pay any mind to it. See you, Bokuto. He smiled. His eyes looked down at Bokuto's hands. "I know." He moved closer, his other hand taking hold of Bokuto's. He used to be bigger than Kuroo, but now he's the one who's smaller. "Hello. The drastic weight loss was awful enough, but as if to add insult to injury, Bokuto's worsening condition also made it increasingly difficult for him to walk, move, and speak. A cool breeze passed through the garden just then, and in the distance, Bokuto held on tight to the burgundy knit scarf around his neck to keep warm. rockin' the west coast prayer group; easy bulky sweater knitting pattern. He'd only spoken to Kuroo once before, and they barely exchanged any words. If you watched Haikyuu, and anime, I would definitely recommend this ebook. Eventually, Bokuto drew back his hand and let it fall to his side. ", "I do, but I don't want to watch it. more depressing than the outsiders. I think the ending is up to interpret, but this is what I thought of. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. Don't worry about it.". You shouldn't be-". He'd be furious with everyone in there, and he knew that the same pain burned within Akaashi, too. Alarmed, he snapped around quickly. It wasn't long before Akaashi had leaned his head on Kuroo's shoulder, as he, too, fell victim to the sorrow that slowly ate him alive. He chuckles. People keep saying they cried at the ending but i'm just here dry eyed. He held the same position and felt himself dozing off "I'm sorry." Akaashi did not give him time to react to this as he moved closer still, and when he was close enough, he lowered his head to lean it on Bokuto's shoulder. He pushed the chair away and found Bokuto's side in bed. This backfired, however, as the other's hand quickly withdrew. After a moment of trying to gather himself, Bokuto choked out two simple words with quivering lips. So I'll just say bye for him! He knew that once they found out, they would take Bokuto away from him. ", "Kenma is fine." I don't want to know them. Or maybe January? Akaashi hadn't even mustered his first word before Bokuto snapped his head to the side to give him his undivided attention. Bokuto leaned in and touched his forehead to Akaashi's. The taller, dark haired male gestured to them. But that still doesn't make me a better person. "I just came from there. He found some and said them without a second thought. [Then I guess I'll see you at the hospital around a week or two from now. He turned his head and met Akaashi's gaze with weary, well rested eyes. He was trying everything he could to psych himself into doing at least something to let Bokuto know that he was there for him. "I understand, but I still have to go." I don't regret meeting you.". He just hoped that the night wouldn't bring him any malevolent dreams. That would be nice. A stronger laugh broke out from him, rattling his body as he lay down in bed. He held his hand up in a "peace sign", and the video ended with him on screen. Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. He felt the gentlest of taps against his arm, and he turned his head to meet eyes that were as concerned as they were exhausted. The other spoke in a quiet voice, low and brooding. He was staring outside at the white clouds that shrouded the skies, mesmerized by just how colorless it made everything seem. At times, Bokuto would do nothing but lie there in bed, twitching back awake whenever his body tried so desperately to fall into the sleeping state that it once knew. "He's here? Bokuto looked exhausted beyond belief, yet there he stood, excited to make his way to the gymnasium. ], [I guess. Three hours feels like seven hours, sometimes. Akaashi exhaled quickly through his nose, making a sound that was almost like a laugh. He just didn't want to accept it. He watched as Kuroo walked away, far enough for small details to become blurred. "No is my final answer." "It's freezing." After this, he would repeat the same process, paying little to no mind to the freezing cold that surrounded him. It was one of those "White days", as Bokuto liked to call them, so he paid much more attention to the world beyond the glass than he did to his own confined life in the hospital. Slipping his head down to Bokuto's chest, Akaashi leaned against his frail frame. But he only swallowed and kept his composure, just as he'd been doing since the day he met Bokuto. In another life. [Yeah! "Well then, if you had a second chance" Akaashi hesitated. It was a reaction that Akaashi was not expecting in the least, but he played off his surprise and only managed an, "I see.". I never asked to be emotionally destroyed . Kuroo asked with a hushed tone. No one. Curiosity had sparked within him. "When have you ever tried to make a joke? He started on his way without so much as a second glance in the other's direction. Though he'd gotten thinner, his arms still had some power to them. He was waiting for Kenma, but Akaashi wondered why he hadn't waited for him in the seat that he was initially sitting in. Bokuto and Kuroo continued to talk animatedly, the both of them out of earshot. He left the room quickly, leaving Bokuto by his lonesome. Then I'll have to walk you to the hospital before the doctors find out you're missing and lose their minds. It was difficult, however, as each time he tried to drift off to sleep, that unnerving fear of having the same dream would jerk him back awake. At times, Akaashi would look through the conversations that he'd shared with him. I was in tears for most of the hours it took me to read it, and when I finished, I legitimately sobbed so hard I woke up sick the next morning. That was enough for Akaashi to remove his hand from in front his mouth slowly, moving it to rest it over his chin. Thank you for reading, it means a lot that you've read through my work! "It doesn't matter if you've never met Bokuto before, or if you haven't seen him in ten days, or ten weeks, or ten months, or ten years. Those yellow eyes examined everything, adamant with taking all of it in. Whole. This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers. The words left his mouth reluctantly. He then reached out and took hold of Bokuto's arm to help him back to the bed. Bokuto's laughter died down and he closed his eyes. As Bokuto backed away from the window, Akaashi was quick to close it, locking the bitter night air out of the room for the remainder of the night. Without hesitation, he ran across the court to retrieve the ball. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write. He took his time, the thought of removing it killing him faster than the disease itself. They don't know how to H-heal me, so" From beneath the blanket, Akaashi could see Bokuto's shoulders rise and fall. "I hadn't noticed that one was rolling in." RandyKrauswasparalyzed.Hisleftsidewasuseless.Buthisrighthandwas1enoughtoliftabuckettohisforehead.Oncehe'dbeenapoliceofficerandownedaprivate-eyeagency.Oncehe . "The liquid started flooding into my mouth and nose, and it wasn't until I was suffocating that I forced myself awake.". Bokuto covered his mouth and coughed suddenly. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. ", Akaashi nearly scoffed. There, he parted the glass slightly. Standing at the side of Bokuto's bed, Akaashi glanced to the open door that led to the hallway. Managing a miserable smile, Akaashi roughly rubbed his palm with his thumb. If there was one thing that Akaashi had learned about Bokuto in the little time that he'd known him, it was that he wasn't too fond of staying locked up indoors. He could only watch as those tears fell at a faster pace, down onto his hospital gown and onto the floor. Silently and almost in fascination, Bokuto stared at Akaashi once again, longer this time before he looked up, then down, then away. Other than those things, Bokuto found it nearly impossible to stomach anything else. Akaashi.". They made him feel nauseous to a point where he had to sit up in bed and swallow deep, slow breaths in order to cool himself down, and he did just that, reaching his hands up to rub at his eyes before taking a tense look around his room. Was he just playing the fool after all? Akaashi pressed play, and a video of Kuroo started to play. Also, when people say they cried at something, at times it's not literal, it also might mean that it feels like they're going to cry or something like that. "I heard the doctors talking. The tiny snowflakes deteriorated in the warmth of his palm, leaving a small puddle behind. He kept his eyes half-lidded and his movements reserved, clinging onto the false hope that Bokuto wasn't moving because he didn't want to wake him. "How did he look?" It seemed more along the lines of an act of affection, or at least as affectionate as Kenma could get, which wasn't much. Watching as Bokuto ran forward, Akaashi set the ball perfectly. That he wasn't another one of those illusions his mind would create. He was shocked. "You don't have to put that." In the span of a little over a month, Bokuto had gone from a general one-hundred and fifty pounds to a mere ninety-seven pounds, last time they'd weighed him. Did you just Say that to yourself?". He pressed his lips into a thin line and fell backwards on his bed. "You seem to have grown more attached to that Pocky stick than me". Frankly speaking, it had no affect on him in the slightest. He pulled out a phone, and to Akaashi's dread, he asked for his phone number. "I guess you can Just as long as you're feeling better. He found he had nothing more to say. I hope all is well. ", "I Don't know." It almost sounded as if Bokuto were talking to himself. "You don't need to know." The male across from him did well in hiding the look of offense that almost surfaced upon his face. "Don't apologize.". Long time.". Bokuto was very different from everyone else Akaashi had ever met before him. The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write. To the garden out in the back.". Bokuto had his head turned away. Very long. Things could be worse. "Of this hospital. His voice was low. "I would hope so." He threw the ball to Akaashi. Do something Akaashi closed his mouth and swallowed. His hands rested on his stomach, the dark blanket surrounding him from behind, but slipping off just enough for his torso to be exposed. He didn't care. lamar county tx property search 2 via de boleto I was shouting, but no sound came out. YES! I would have Kenma say bye, too, but-" He turned his head to look around, "He left the room? I am still crying. He stretched and stifled a yawn, pushed a hand through the mess that was his hair, and relaxed his head against Akaashi's shoulder. "Insomnia." Now if only the sickly one would hit it. to enjoy it, and okay, maybe you'll regret it when you're crying so hard you might pass out at 3am, but ultimately you'll be glad you read this masterpiece. He laughed hard, or at least as hard as he could. "I'm not coming back to visit him anymore. "Sure." When he exhaled, a puff of smoke left him. He meets Bokuto, a patient who has a crippling disease, Fatal familial insomnia, FFI. Same thing happened to me and now I'm questioning myself. He rubbed the back of his neck. The way his lips curled at the corners, the way his eyes squinted just enough so that only a glint of green could be seen. Kuroo would have been concerned if not for finding out what had happened earlier that day. Kuroo spoke to him, and Akaashi listened and often responded. He felt as if all the air had been squeezed out of his body by the words that Bokuto had spoken. He then tossed it to Bokuto once he was close enough. Akaashi figured that Bokuto would keep to himself for the rest of the night, so he put his focus back to trying to sleep. He breathed in sharply. "Are you sure you should be going out in the cold like that?". He was much like Akaashi, sitting on the same side of the bed, a good distance apart from his visitor. "Likewise.". I don't want to read them. Akaashi looked down the hall. Bokuto followed briskly. "I'm fine." Akaashi's eyes lowered, focusing on the arm that was attached to the hand that he was holding. Confused, Bokuto glanced over at him. He reached a hand out and touched Bokuto's forehead. Akaashi followed after knowing that Kenma was nearby. It wasn't until Akaashi looked up from his laptop screen that he realized it was snowing heavily outside. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. "Was he ever fond of them? The pain seared itself into his soul, hindering him, rendering him speechless to a point where he no longer knew what words were. He managed a feeble shrug and turned to continue on with the movie that he'd watched for the thirtieth time already. "You know Um" He looked down and rubbed his neck roughly, leaving behind deep, red marks. Before then, he would normally lose several pounds a week, but ever since the night he'd snuck out, his weight loss could only be described as alarming. No words were exchanged for a moment, and soon, the short amount of silence had become awkward. Why did he want to know his name? Those yellow eyes of his would often dart to the floor, then to the ceiling, around the room, and back to the floor, but he would never look at Akaashi. Hesitating, he turned, pivoting on one foot to stare back at the small one who sat by his lonesome. Akaashi tapped his fingers quietly against his pants. Surely enough, he noticed Kenma sitting in the seat next to Bokuto's bed. Bokuto's head lolled to the side, directing his attention back to the movie. He was undone. Don't Come telling m-me now that you Have only been coming here every day because y-you wanted to.". Bokuto chortled quietly and placed his head back on Akaashi's shoulder. Akaashi entered the building and greeted the woman at the front desk, as always. He must have been. But three hours can also feel like seven minutes. I'm taking you back." He thought back to the bags around Bokuto's eyes. Another laugh. "He turned twenty only three months ago", Akaashi lowered his head. I've got time.]. Pointing a finger down the hall, a small assistant nurse directed Akaashi to a different desk, one where he would be able to find more information on the subject. He blinked sluggishly. For every time Akaashi would witness this, his mind would repeat one phrase, whether he wanted to hear it or not. He rubbed his face quietly. But people never laugh at my jokes. The stranger could have been a patient at the hospital for all Akaashi knew, and the last thing he needed was a sickly acquaintance to add to his already short list of friends. "Watch it." "What? It was a dreary place for him, a place he was not fond of, but a place he was obligated to visit. Akaashi was close to holding his breath before Bokuto had finally drew his hand back. His arms and legs were stiff, as were his eyes. Shut him out, don't let him in. He could still see Bokuto's hand, and it had frozen in place. Bokuto reached a hand out, aimlessly trying to swat Akaashi's own hand away. ok look. In seconds, Kenma was down the hall and making his way down the stairs, having completely ignored Kuroo as well. Unless Bokuto was purposely playing the fool. And remember, you're the best." His hands at his sides, Bokuto bowed. But Akaashi knew that this wasn't the case. Once they'd reached it, Bokuto resumed his usual position and wrapped the thick blanket around himself, then turned away from Akaashi. Blatantly, he thanked her, and continued on his way, passing by several rooms as he did so. They sat heavily in the pit of his stomach, churning and pestering him, urging him to throw up. Guilt bubbled up within Akaashi's chest. "I know you aren't going to ask, so I'll just let you know. Akaashi remained in place with the thought in mind that Bokuto would respect his personal space and sit a foot or two away from him, but to his apparent surprise, Bokuto leaned his head on Akaashi's shoulder and slipped an arm around him. Akaashi was dumbfounded. Akaashi turned to catch a glimpse of him, but he stared off in the distance, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular. "You tremble when it's seventy degrees in the room. "I did" He paused for a moment. Akaashi avoided looking into them. He twisted his fingers and pursed his lips, wary of what Kuroo would say next. "I would stay if it were up to me. "Bokuto," he whispered. That night was no different as Akaashi repeated this action for the twentieth time that day, his thumb scrolling up and down for minutes on end until he finally came to a stop. Keeping in contact with me wouldn't be a good idea.". From: Bokuto (Sent July 29th at 11:56 PM). Kuroo froze. "It's just A slow, downhill ride f-from here. Absolutely not. Bokuto grumbled to himself. Akaashi sighed.