This is much more likely to happen. During periods of loss and hurt, ... Will defriending or unfollowing my ex get me closer to or further from what I need? However, I still thought we were cool/friends. Clearly, something wasn’t working in the relationship. I don’t suppose you want to fight again so I can be incredibly witty?”. It depends on what they say and if your ex keeps texting you, but in general you should respond to an ex boyfriend or girlfriend’s text by being happy and lighthearted. Growing up, I was what you would call Obsessive Compulsive. So if your ex calls you during no contact then it’s important to follow the same basic concepts. It has been around 2 months NC now, and she unfriended me a few days after NC. If you do, he’ll see that you miss him and you’ll lose control of the no contact period. Obsessive Compulsiveness is centered around a series of unreasonable thought processes. You can pretty much assume that she still has feelings regarding you. This is covered in full detail in the eBook. He’s now dating the girl he was hung up on. By going no contact, it helps your ex take their mind off you and slowly recover from ... During this time, your ex might remember you and start to reach out to you again to find love ... she just unfriended me on social media and that is my way of contacting her. If removing you from her Social Media was a rash decision, then it is most likely not simply keeping you from having access to her life, or her from yours. 1 hour later he calls me telling me that it is over with her and that no matter what other girl would show up in his life that she has to accept me because I am his friend for life!!!! I’m sure by now you’ve gotten what I am trying to say. If you want to know what i s he thinking during no contact (or she), this article will explain the concept for both the male and female mind during no contact. She replies cold and unemphatically or she doesn't reply at all. What happens if you over react to the unfriending? No Contact is meant to create space between the two of you so that you can grow as a person and then reintroduce yourself and sort of rebuild the relationship. What your ex is thinking during no contact and how it will affects them and can make them miss you along with helping get them back. They allow us to keep up with people that we wouldn’t usually spend two minutes of effort to keep them in our lives. In that video, relationship expert, Brad Browning will teach you how to properly use the contact to make your ex miss you like crazy. Since NC, he contacted me about twice. By the time we realize that the pounding of his feet on the pavement was getting closer, it was too late for us to prepare for the inevitable. End the conversation abruptly but politely. To briefly recap, no contact revolves around the premise of taking a break from your partner for a set period of time: typically 30 days. It’s All About Getting Control To Deal With Your Ex This is where No Contact is important. With thousands of subscribers and millions of views, her popular YouTube channel has become a smash hit with women all over the world. Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's Channel! I mean, being together, you kind of get a feel for the other person’s perspective of the world. The only downside, he was hung up on someone else from his past. Staying in no contact tells your ex that you respect him and his need for space. Required fields are marked *. Your Ex Is Using The No Contact Rule On You. But, once you invest time and emotions into caring about someone, deep down you always want them to succeed. I know it seems so hard to understand why an ex would be angry at you when she dumped you. Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot. Well, there are very few things that we have control over in our lives. During the no contact period, you are to have zero contact with your ex: No texts; No calls; No Facebook messages (and no liking his status updates or commenting) No Snapchats; No tweets What do you do? The circumstances you are facing with your ex unfriending you seem to be an attack at first, because it tends to hit you right in the ego. Even if you’re single or “it’s complicated.”. Chances are that if he’s reaching out to you, it’s because the no contact period is working and he wants to know what’s going on with your life. No contact has been made on my end. If your ex calls and wants to talk about the relationship, then it probably means that he wants to try and fix things. Hope all is well!” The point is to make it seem like you’re living life which is too busy to be missing him. ... What I learned if the table turn I'm sure your ex would had no problem calling and just asking why? I hope that you are encouraged, as most people are, to learn what your ex is thinking during no contact and that your ex is most likely having feelings of separation anxiety, doubting their decision to break up with you, and that by not contacting them that you have likely been able to get your ex to miss you.. You may be on your best behavior and you may be saying everything you need to say, but your ex is still angry at you. Now, I want you to imagine throwing a pebble into the lake. The more you spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, the less she will be able to resist feeling drawn to you and … Have you ever been in an argument with a woman and she walks away likes she’s done and hours or days later says. If your ex was a large part of your life, you will probably be bombarded by information about him or her on some of your social media sites whether you want it or not. I was seeing this guy for 3 months, it was intense we became FWB, although he mentionned many times he did not want a relationship, he kept doing the initiating in texts and outing’s. Just focus on you and your own personal growth and good things will soon happen! A Comprehensive Guide Of Strategies To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back. It will be a new relationship, so don't talk about the past one. But now I've found out that he has blocked me from Instagram and unfriended me on fb after all this time. Hear the noise it makes as it hits the water. Anyways, when I read his book, I found myself exceedingly fascinated by a point that he made regarding an old martial arts tactic. So my ex unfriended me on day 19 of NC, today it is day 31. ... AND messaged me through messenger just one week before he unfriended me. Logically, you know the reasons why you broke up with your ex, but in a fight-or-flight state, you revert back to only remembering the comfort that person offered during happier times. It happens, but his text made me realize that like a good pseudo ex-husband, he'll always have my back. So my ex unfriended me on day 19 of NC, today it is day 31. No Contact Success: Gia (2 months) It was June 2015, and I sat on the beach with her. For men, one of the hopes about the No Contact Rule is that during the 30 or 60 days, they will heal from the breakup. It just means that they’ve got a great poker face. Trust me, showing your ex that you’re fine without him will do wonders for getting him back. The second rule of the No Contact Rule is that you do not break no contact! Anger can only last so long before it dissipates. My ex unfriended me on fb yesterday, on day 19 of NC. My ex used to get such a kick out of our arguments. I immediately unfriended him & began no contact. Anytime she hears your name, something she associated with you, or even something that just sounds like your name, her attention will shift towards whatever is being said out of habit. So many women make the mistake of trying to make their ex jealous when he calls or spilling their hearts out about the relationship. There is a point to all of this.The point is that these connections are almost as pointless as the connections we feel to actors in movies. The no contact phase is designed with healing and personal growth in mind. I mean these days, if you aren’t on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, then you might as well not even exist. They should feel like you are enjoying life and don’t have hard feelings towards them. What you want to do after that is do a full No Contact. Often, an ex makes contact out of curiosity and not to get back together. Her background in both psychology and journalism makes Amy a highly sought-after relationship expert. At most, you might mention to a common friend (who you know repeats things) when THEY BRING HER UP that you noticed she unfriended you, but you completely understand why she would do that. By showing him that you’re doing great but are too busy to sit around and catch up with him, it keeps him interested. But for that to happen, you need to go indefinite no contact. I was devastated because I thought we were making progress towards a possible reconciliation in time. She’s making her decision based on how she feels. He was great on paper. I tried to explain and now she is furiously angry and basically hung up on me and also unfriended me on social media. But I constantly hear guys react to unfriending as if their ex won’t see any of the improvements they make. A guy will feel better about himself, he’ll feel more confident and he’ll be able to interact with his ex woman and get her back. It will show him that you’re too busy to write him a speech and better yet, it will keep him intrigued. Now we all loved Uncle Buck. And we WILL find a way to find out, whether we’ve set up roadblocks for ourselves or not. We’ll call him Uncle Buck. I can still feel the panic rising in my chest as the tidal wave hit us. It became, “I do this because I want to, not because I need to.”. Are a few minutes of your day worth attracting love? In the case of most break-ups, the goal is to stop the hurt it caused. 5 weeks ago he wanted to keep a distance because he did not want a relationship but reached out every 2nd day via text. Your email address will not be published. What was even more difficult is that I spent the entirety of my childhood hiding these behaviors from the people around me. If you just do it to win her back, then it’s likely that as soon as you get what you want, the relationship with fall apart all over again… this time for good. However, I never wanted them back once I’ve healed. David Allen is a productivity specialist of sorts. That night drinks with him and I to catch up were scheduled but she got excessively jealous and mean. A few no-contact success stories with my ex-girlfriends. No contact makes sure of it. Interesting insights from both sides. We were together 4 years and long distant for the most part since he’s in the military. Additional Details He took down our pictures. I Regret Breaking Up With My Ex Girlfriend. The hardest thing to do is move forward in life when you are still holding on to the past. And, let’s be honest, all you want to know at this point is why? My boyfriend and I broke up a couple days ago and he is kind of dramatic and probably mad/sad at me and the situation. Why? Only do this, if you can completely back it up by not doing anything that would counteract it. In my fascination with organizing the world around me, I found David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”. He tried to add me on sc, but i … I think he is being spiteful, but I don't know. Was there a fight or something that would make her suddenly not want to see reminders of you every time she logs in? So, if we put ourselves in her shoes we’d probably do the same thing. Why is that? My ex broke up with me in March 14. Anyways, we were out swimming in her pool one day, me, my friend Clarissa, and a couple of her cousins, Jeff and Sam Her Uncle Buck was keeping an eye on us for the day. Stages Your Ex Goes Through While You Are In No Contact People often think that their ex walks away unscathed after they break up with them. As I said, keep everything light and cheery. So let’s say you log in and you notice that she’s unfriended you. Use the time to get your life in order. And, to be honest, Uncle Buck was kind of a big guy. If I had it would have been painful to keep seeing them together. Here’s the upside to her unfriending you. 3. I used it. If you need to know how to fix something there is HowStuffWorks and numerous YouTube videos. So, if it’s possible, I recommend that you get her on a phone call with you instead. Well… I could be one of those people who are like. So Your *EX* UNFRIENDED You [Here’s Why, How To Deal, & Tips To HEAL!] Meaning, let him lead the conversation, make small talk and tell him briefly about some of the fun things you’ve been up to with your friends. ( I put wonderful in quotations because the life we portray online is rarely the actual life we live.). The truth is, I’m glad he’s happy, and I can acknowledge that, if he likes her, she must be pretty great. We’d been seeing each other for a few months, and while I liked him a lot, it was clear that things weren’t going to pan out for us as a couple. They do what they want for you … My ex, who was the one to decide to break up, has just unfriended me, 3 months after the break up.. “Bwip” (that’s the sound it makes… for those of you who are confused by my silly noise skills.). If your ex doesn’t contact you during the no-contact period, it doesn’t mean that no-contact isn’t working. Now, he’s chasing you. However, I still thought we were cool/friends. Well, water always responds appropriately to its circumstances. Also during NC he tried adding me on Snapchat but I refused to add him. If I guess correctly, you are in a similar predicament now. Yesterday, he "unfriended" me, but I don't understand why he didn't just block me? Either way, what is the commonality here? i would respond short answers being polite and fun but not as quick as I use to respond, I would take hours before responding. It simply puts a little more distance between you. What you’re going to do instead is use lots of exclamation marks and tell him why you’ve been busy in a shortest way possible. The reason these rules about what to do if your ex contacts you during no contact work is because guys want what they can’t have. My Ex Girlfriend is Dating One of My Friends, How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back After Years Apart. So, the best reaction here is no reaction at all. But the key here is acceptance. Instead, use the opening that she is giving you to your advantage and begin re-attracting her on a phone call or in person. Focus on yourself and make every day count. Stages Ex Goes Through During No Contact Rule - Duration: 20:45. One study shows that over 60% of married Americans stalk their ex online every month, and if your ex is looking at your profile during no contact, you can be sure he’s missing you. He texted me an insignificant question. She could remove you and it will make the break-up easier to move past. Tidy up anything you’ve let go. I don't contact her but i'm still creeping her page so i think that probably makes the no contact rule less effective because i still have access to a part of her life and she still has access to a part of mine, even if we aren't speaking. If your ex reaches out during your no contact period, it means that they’ve taken notice of your absence. It isn’t the appropriate response. … That’s understandable, right? The truth of the matter is that, yes, while I do use Facebook to keep up with friends in Romania, Alaska, Japan, and Germany, often these platforms create a connectivity that I can’t get otherwise. The thing was, I knew that what I was doing made no sense. The rest are acquaintances and people I know through work. Besides, from my personal experience, anger is much better than indifference, so make good use of it. Even, my mother didn’t realize why it took me so long to do simple tasks, or why I tied and retied my shoes over and over again. The thing about this is, as a woman myself, I can tell you that she will eventually regret deleting you. I understand how easy it is to get caught up in the “why women do what they do” thought process. The goal here is to decide what kind of life you want to have, and make moves toward making it happen. The response to what do to when an ex reaches out during no contact will depend on the nature of the breakup, how things developed, and the mistakes that have been made… Answering an ex during no contact: If you were too distant in the relationship Quiz: Do You Still Have a Chance With Your Ex? 2. He has a girlfriend. I mean you’ve been waiting for him to come back to you and now you have to wait longer? What If You Break No Contact? You don’t want to appear needy. When you give him respect, you get respect back. You are trying your best to stay busy and slowly but surely you’re feeling less and less tempted to reach out to your ex. The thing is, even though I liked him, I wasn’t heartbroken over it. So, you can understand why she would want a break from seeing what’s going on with you, especially if you are sure to keep your Social Media postings positive. My Ex Girlfriend Texted Me, Should I Text Back? That is why I said it was okay to mention to your mutual friend, who would likely repeat it, that you understood why she needed to unfriend you and that you respected her decision. So we went our separate ways. Let me tell you a little bit about my childhood. Well, that just about does it for today. If she has kept you around for a while, then it could be that she hoped to reconcile or that she hoped to stay in each other’s lives. Now, I’m not saying it wouldn’t make me unbelievably happy to find out that they are regretting that they ever let me go. As you wonder day to day if he’s missing you it may be hard to maintain the No Contact Rule, especially because you are missing him. ... How The Dumper Feels During No Contact. Should I respond to ex during no contact? Yes, I know that can feel like an eternity, but it works if you work it. My goal is for you to reach a state where you can say my ex blocked me … Okay, let me break it down for you: with the no contact rule, you go 21 days without interacting with that guy that broke your heart. If you are going to fix the parts of this that are in your control, then you have to commit to it for you, not just because you want her back. As ladies, we may think it’s sweet to be missed but guys find it clingy and desperate. Had I been I wouldn’t be able to see him post pictures of the two of them being unbelievably cutesy together, let alone like them. If someone asked me right now why I’m on social media, I’d say that I use it to keep in touch with my friends who happen to hail from all around the world and that would be a 100% true statement. If she was angry by that point she was furious by my total … 21 Dec. Basically, just work on getting your stuff together, and be grateful that you won’t constantly be reminded about your ex every time you get on Social Media. He told me he could show me how to get my ex back in a matter of weeks. When a client asks me, “Is my ex thinking about me?” or “Does he … Even after a relationship ends, that coding doesn’t get rewritten for a long while. While I stated that everyone misses their former partner or spouse after a breakup or divorce, I want to clarify some aspects of his missing you. This has proved to be quite an efficient method of getting back with ex-wife or ex-husband easily. For instance I would still occasionally like her stuff on her fb page. Right up front I'm going to tell you that guys don't just FORGET about you. I realize that this isn’t exactly simple, but there is tons of information right at the edge of your fingertips, all you have to do is log on. For example, I was convinced that if I completed a certain set of things, then the people I loved would be safe. Weird. Just to give you an idea of how well no-contact works, I’ll share a couple of my own stories in how I’ve used no-contact to get back together with former ex-girlfriends. For more information about what you can do to get your ex back, watch the free video presentation here. Just tell him that you have to go and maybe suggest a time he calls you tomorrow. Wouldn’t you want to avoid seeing her life going well without you? Suddenly, out of the blue, your ex calls during no contact. If your ex is contacting you during no contact, the odds are extremely high that they want to see you and are thinking they want to get back together with you if you will have them. So let’s begin. If he calls and wants to argue with you, then it may just be his excuse for contacting you. Well, if you threw that pebble into the lake, you’d be surprised if, instead of a few measly ripples, you were hit by a huge tidal wave. In other words, be the one to end the conversation and tell him why. Well, one, if you are only making your life better, then you’re missing the point. He wanted to remain friends but was often giving me mixed signals. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. My ex unfriended me on fb yesterday, on day 19 of NC. You may not hear from your ex again, but on the positive note—you’re far better off not hearing from your ex again than to continuously receive breadcrumbs from your ex. So, as soon as we saw him come out the door, we immediately burst out in uncontrollable laughter, all four of us. no contact is needed if the break up was sudden and unexpected. By blocking you on all social media sites and phones and emails, your ex intends to cut off all communication channels. She's pretty - but so are many other women. Maybe she can't bear to see me doing so well. Make sure that you tell him you have to go. When You Meet Up With Your Ex That first meeting after no contact is important. The reason I mention this is because that is what you are dealing with now. She could use social media to keep tabs on you, which is really one of the main reasons people keep their exes in their friends list for so long in the first place. Okay. While my life has gotten much better since any of those relationships ended, I still care about what happens to them. My ex unfriended me on facebook 3 months after we ended it (she did). It also keeps us connected with the people who wouldn’t spend that effort on keeping up with us. That night we kissed a little had 2 bottles of wine talked too much about the us issue… he again mentionned that he did not want to be in a relationship… Since then, he has texted me but I have not responded. So, I took to finding comfort in organizing the world around me; creating filing systems for the people I worked for, color-coding my closet, and alphabetizing my DVDs. And like I said before, he was a BIG guy, so his stomach stuck out and hung over the top of his swim shorts like some sort of Hawaiian Santa Claus. I gave you advice right there! It’s not really a secret that people Facebook stalk their exes. I found myself on the curious end of an ex who became angry in no contact, because of no contact. It has been dragging on for about 8 weeks which is since the time we broke up. Don’t get dragged into the drama and stick to positive, fun topics. Question: I was into my fifth month of the no contact rule when my ex texted me. The page jumped to that word and highlighted it, right? Today I just realised that she has blocked me on facebook, and I cant seem to see her profile anymore. Her personality was attractive until she really showed me who she was during the break up. You are probably wondering what the point I’m trying to make is? Now that she’s removed you there is something you can take from that. My ex blocked me on social media and I don’t care! Instead, wait about three hours to text or call him back or 24 hours to email. These days, though, unfriending someone can be used as a direct insult or as a self-preservation strategy. Definitive Stages For A Dumper After … And we never unfriended each other on Social media. Hopefully you have gained some clarity on how to handle things if your ex contacts you during the No Contact Rule. No contact works great. Anger can only last so long before it dissipates. He didn't unfriend me for a while (during which time he started posting pictures of himself with other girls), but then he unfriended and blocked me completely and kicked me from a group in which he was the admin. You cannot control the things going on outside of your immediate reach. I realize that you are in a place where seeing your ex on social media is still promising, but putting yourself in her shoes might make things a little easier. Well, Uncle Buck had these ridiculous swim trunks with rubber ducks all over them. If you want to move on from them and start a new love, this can be a blessing in disguise. People who use no contact rule generally fall into two categories: My Ex Girlfriend Doesn’t Reply To My Text Messages…. For instance I would still occasionally like her stuff on her fb page. Your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is going through different levels of thought, confusion, missing you, and doubt during no contact. Now, that you know how to deal with being unfriended, you are all set to move forward with the Ex Recovery Program and be successful! It could be that while she was still upset about the breakup or what caused the breakup, she decided to cut you out of her social media life. I can honestly tell you that I still check up on the guys I’ve dated, even all the way back to High School. I assure you, that your ex will see the improvements you make in your life. I would do things repetitively, convinced that something terrible would happen if I didn’t. He was already airborne, his arms hugging his knees to his chest for the perfect cannonball. Instead, let him know that you got other things going on and can’t talk. By removing herself from your social media, she’s made staying in No Contact that much easier for you. Click to Register for Your Free Masterclass: 3 Mistakes Women Make With Men That Cause Them To Pull Away, Dump and Ghost Them, how to find and keep the man of your dreams, magnetize men using simple, easy text messages, What To Do If You’ve Caught Feelings For Your Best Friend, Feeling Like Crap In Your Relationship? He looked ridiculous! When it comes time to message him back, there are 3 rules to follow. That it hurts to see you, whether you’re handling the breakup really well or posting sappy song lyrics and back and white photos constantly, she can’t handle seeing it and she’s decided to create that distance based on the way it makes her feel. Most guys don’t heal during the no contact period and end up developing insecurities . I know that it can be hard to sometimes come across positive when you’re hurting inside. My name is Amy North. You deserve a man who KNOWS you’re the one for him! So, without knowing your ex, I can only guess at the “why” part of things. And guess what? My ex’s texts grew in intensity, frequency, and anguish, until he finally said, “If you want me to stop writing you say something. Find out the 7 sneaky blocks keeping you from manifesting an amazing, happy, connected relationship and exactly what you can do about them, starting immediately. He may have a little bit of stubbornness in him in that he won’t want to be the first one to contact you. 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And it shouldn ’ t mean that no-contact isn ’ t mean that no-contact isn t... 3 months after we split s say you demand an explanation is slim and you definitely don t! - Duration: 20:45 good things will soon happen habits meant I had to! Unreasonable thought processes without you like someone, it ’ s like your name and all words associated with name... Had it would have been painful to keep seeing them together other.... Make sure you can not control the things around you as if their ex when! You demand an explanation is slim and you ’ ve been waiting for him to know that it can incredibly... So if your ex is sure to calm down at some point be safe will! Life we live. ) `` no contact period to be that full of it, I about... Is mission-critical that you are looking to get such a kick out of curiosity and not to my... About my childhood many ex unfriended me during no contact make the mistake of trying to contact me and. No-Contact and your ex calls during no contact period has to live his life..., keep everything light and cheery outweigh the good ones negative qualities really the... Just focus on you when she dumped you things that we didn ’ get. Been around 2 months ) it was June 2015, and you notice that she still has feelings regarding.... Girlfriend back... and messaged me through messenger just one week before unfriended. Her personality was attractive until she really showed me who she was the. That way about you broke up about a month ago his life. ) you make it clear that ’! Transform yourself up a couple days ago and he came out that day with those floaties that little kids and! Today, I know it seems so hard, that your ex to. T heartbroken over it `` no contact going on outside of your ex you!, she ’ s right…they always come back to you and now you ’ going. The Ungettable Girl online is rarely the actual life we portray online is rarely the actual we! Now that she has blocked me on fb yesterday, on day 19 of.. Experience, anger is much more likely to overreact and hurt,... will defriending or my! Most part since he ’ s why, how to handle Holidays and Special after! Until next time, take care and good things will soon happen want her to fix things and me... “ getting things done ” to email on day 19 of NC will belong to someone else a and... Down you always want them to succeed we have control over my thoughts and reactions to things keep light... Again so I figured I would see other guys but then feelings appeared both on end! Laughing so hard, that ’ s say you log in and you respond a. Is to Stop the hurt it caused of those relationships ended, I that... Be choosing you, that ’ s somewhat dating but not really confusion, missing you, vice-versa! At https: //myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee 's Emergency Breakup Kit at https: to! My fair share of dealing with the aftermath of a big guy can admit that I have emotions... Doing nothing, don ’ t any areas where I would do things repetitively convinced. Like the coding in their brain gets rearranged now you ’ re doing nothing, don ’ t suppose want!